(this song is written based on an experience i went through last month with a suicidal friend who drank and drank and bit off way more than he could handle...which im starting to feel is the story of his life.  this song is about how that nite made me feel..my perception of it...the anger i feel with all the lies told...and having to put my emotions aside to be truly a good friend for him that nite we took him in. i hope he finds his purpose and the thing missing from his life he so craves. i hope he finds himself as well as self love. i'll always wish him well)

VERSE 1:

who knew i could hate you overnite
looked me in the eye...said "i wanna die"
bathed yerself in yer bottles of alcohol
....you allowed yerself...to fall (to fall)
sobriety on yer end was just an act
yer betrayal to me had the biggest impact

CHORUS:

cos you cried to me
as you lied to me
while you looked me in the eye
but i was there for you (there for you) as painful as it was
cos i held yer hand
and i held you close
while you were slipping away
and i prayed to God you'd live to see another day (another day)

VERSE 2:

this goes deeper than you yelling suicide
that nite my trust in you died
watching the men in lab coats wheel you away
by far was one of my hardest days (hardest day)
...i felt.....my heart....sinking (i felt... my heart....sinking)
dear boy....what were you thinking?
what...were you....thinking....
were you thinking at all...were you thinking at all...were you thinking at all?

CHORUS:

cos you cried to me
as you lied to me
while you looked me in the eye
but i was there for you (there for you) as painful as it was
cos i held yer hand
and i held you close
while you were slipping away
and i prayed to God you'd live to see another day (another day)

BRIDGE:

is that what you wanted?
...yer inner demons taunted...
are liquid dreams what you needed?
...to feel you've succeeded?
and the world is yer stage
..but Your world is filled with rage
....but this cant be the role that you wanted....(this cant be the role that you wanted)

CHORUS:

cos you cried to me
as you lied to me
while you looked me in the eye
but i was there for you (there for you) as painful as it was
cos i held yer hand
and i held you close
while you were slipping away
and i prayed to God you'd live to see another day (another day)

©by Tara Stover

(this song started off as just a few lines from the chorus but never went anywhere. it was just tonight...months and months afterwards...i decided to tie it to a painful story. i dedicate this to anyone who is either an addict or has lost a friend to addiction or even suicide....basically, the fallen.  you are not alone.  thank you to my best friend paula who has always believed in me)

VERSE 1:
She’s got a bleeding heart….and now its fading…
She craved a lie…as her bitter hands start shaking
Hangovers were her heart and soul…crying out…for salvation!!
Cut up lines of powdered dreams….became her own…..vaccination
And I kno..these poisons have clouded your: self love, your beauty, your passion..your creativity..even your self-respect
And I kno….you don’t want to go downnn this road

CHORUS:
I kno what you’ve been doin..usin…baby…not choosin….the right path…
I kno that you’re sad and lonely baby…..hold on…hold on…
This is me reaching my hand out to you…come to me….come to me
This world is so damn scary baby…..baby…(don’t give up…you’re an angel…and we love you)

VERSE 2:
She is a question that has never been posed before
And her waking life is something she came to abhor
Her world? BLACK…Broken like glass…she had became
From that moment on her world was never…the same
Fool she was thinking she was her own…higher power
Saw angels… her demons…over her.. they would tower
And I kno death became that of her own hand…own hand
Will to live…passion to thrive…. no longer in demand

CHORUS 2:
I kno what you Were doin..abusing..usin….baby…I miss you
I kno that you Were sad and lonely baby….and you let go…you let go
That Was me reaching my hand out to you...but you never came..never came
This world Was so damn scary for you…baby…so you gave up…gave up…and now we miss you

BRIDGE:
To lose oneself is the darkest hell
To remain in that existence
What you searched for was within the whole time
You were alive within yourself
You may feel you will never surface
You may feel you do not matter
Lost inside poisons you’d never surface
All I wanted was to be your muse
Your dream turned out to be a dark vast
A dark vast of emptiness
You were too scared to face the world
This was you..."killing loneliness"
And now we’re grieving over you

CHORUS 2:
I kno what you Were doin..abusing..usin….baby…I miss you
I kno that you Were sad and lonely baby….and you let go…you let go
That Was me reaching my hand out to you...but you never came..never came
This world Was so damn scary for you…baby…so you gave up…gave up…and now we miss you

©by Tara Stover